


Surprises

by imnotmadeofeyes



Series: We're Two Broken Parts Fitting Together [1]
Category: Bandom, Of Mice & Men (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, Established Relationship, M/M, Mpreg, followed by hurt/comfort, kind of fluffy as well?, student!Alan, tattoo artist!Austin, that is really not important but whatever, wow my tagging sucks, you have to decide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-24
Updated: 2014-07-24
Packaged: 2018-02-10 06:31:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2014650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imnotmadeofeyes/pseuds/imnotmadeofeyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Alan shouldn’t be surprised. He really shouldn’t be so damn surprised.</i>
</p><p>Alan finds out what's wrong with him, and he's freaking out because Austin is so going to freak out. Or isn't he?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Surprises

**Author's Note:**

> This was requested by the gorgeous canilickyourtattoos on Tumblr: _Could you do an au where Alan finds out he's pregnant and he has to find a way to tell Austin but he doesn't want Austin to leave because Austin is like against having kids?_  
>  And yeah this is probably so not what this was supposed to be, but really I didn't want to write heart-breaking stuff but I wanted to write fluff and this was what happened.  
> I also feel like this would be a real good start for a little series that shows the life of Alan and Austin like that? You should totally tell me if you like this and if you would like me to continue this.  
> Also, thanks for reading, feedback is as appreciated as always, and if you want to, you can visit my Tumblr idiotsandlifesavers and leave me a prompt.

Alan and Austin love each other. That’s nothing new. They’ve been friends since high school, and now Alan is twenty-two and Austin is twenty-five. They’ve been together for almost four years now. They’re not exactly like the usual couple, but their life is fine. They live together in one of these lofts that are in buildings that used to be factories – wide, open spaces with brick walls and high windows, heavy metal doors and all that. It’s cheap, but it’s theirs and they love it. They have two cats, a ginger one called Phips and a black one called Cookie. Alan works at a record store while studying music, Austin is a tattoo artist. They don’t have all that much money, but they get along well enough. They fight, but not too much and never too violently, and they have a lot of really damn good sex.

Alan is comfortable. Austin and he both used to struggle a lot in their childhood and teenage years. Alan fought with depression and a severe eating disorder while Austin comes from a broken home, used to be abused by his dad and had bad anger issues. But they’re both fine now, they helped each other through it and mended the broken parts to become better people. So yeah, Alan is happy. His boyfriend is hot and he loves him and he’s pretty sure that they’re not going to break up anytime soon.

But Alan knows that good times come to an end sooner or later. So he shouldn’t be surprised. He really shouldn’t be so damn surprised.

It starts off with a little ache in his stomach. But the man doesn’t think anything by it. He’s only been on normal weight for like, one and a half years now and every meal is a battle. Maybe his body is not taking it as well that Austin brings home some kind of really not healthy take-out more often than not. He thinks it’s just that, loosens his belt one hole to relieve the pressure he puts on his belly and then continues his day like nothing ever happened. He’s never looked after his body all too well, he has enough scars on it to show that.

Then comes the fatigue. The first time it hits Alan is when he’s walking home from class and he’s walking by a stand that sells cheap and disgusting hot dogs and he smells the cheap old fat in which the salesman keeps the hotdogs. Alan’s stomach seems to do a twist at that and it comes so quick that he barely makes it to the next garbage can before he pukes out everything he’s eaten again. Again, Alan blames his over-sensitive eating habits, especially when he doesn’t feel all too bad for the rest of the day and even manages to eat some dinner with Austin, though not as much as usual.

But a week after that, he feels horribly sick in the morning and almost doesn’t make it to the toilet before he’s retching violently. Austin follows him, awoken by the ugly sounds, holds his hair back and strokes his back soothingly when his body gets out whatever he didn’t agree with. They both think it was because of the sushi they’d gotten the night before – maybe one of the things weren’t as fresh as they should be and now Alan’s body is complaining. He stays home from class, but feels good enough to take his shift at the record store in the afternoon, and in the evening they have really hot kitchen sex because Alan is terribly horny when Austin comes home, the sickness long forgotten.

It continues in that fashion though. First it’s every two or three days, but soon enough Alan wakes up every morning feeling incredibly bad, vomiting in the bathroom or, like that one morning, in the garbage can in their room because he doesn’t manage to get to the toilet quick enough. And sometimes it even hits him again throughout the day like the very first time and it worries him and it worries Austin, so Austin makes him go to the doctor after about two weeks.

Alan already has a very bad suspicion, but he doesn’t dare voice it. It couldn’t be. He’s had it a couple days earlier but pushed the thought away, and it only comes back when the world comes crashing down around him in the doctor’s office. He goes there alone because Austin has to work, and Alan can remember how he felt slightly pissed off about that when he was sitting alone in the waiting room, feeling horrible and terribly bored on top of it. But when he’s in the doctor’s office and the doctor says those faithful words, he’s glad Austin is not there with him.

“Those symptoms shouldn’t be surprising to you – congratulations, Mr. Ashby, you are pregnant”

At first, Alan doesn’t understand. His mind goes completely blank as he stares at the man in front of him, the doctor he’s known since he was twelve. That was some kind of sick joke, right? That was – no, that was impossible, it couldn’t be! A completely flabbergasted “What?” leaves his mouth after a couple of seconds. He’s unable to wrap his mind around it.

“Well, we took some tests, and it’s obvious: you are expecting a child. It’s a pretty rare occurrence, but nothing too special anymore. I will prescribe you some pills that should settle your hormones and stop your morning sickness soon, and I will give you a collection of contacts to male pregnancy specialists, you don’t have to worry about a thing.”

Alan doesn’t know how he gets home. He’s not that freaked out about the baby itself. He knows about male pregnancy; he’s written an essay about it in his biology class in sophomore year two years ago. And he’s always wanted kids, even when he was just a kid himself. He’s always been kind of different from everyone, a bit more sensitive and all. He loves kids, thinks about picking up a teaching career after he’s finished with university this summer. No, it’s not him he’s freaking out about.

It’s Austin.

Because Austin loves Alan, that’s obvious. Alan knows he adores him, and he knows that he cares for him a lot. Austin has always been there for him, he’s helped him through the deep shit, through thinking about suicide and through rehab after his bulimia got out of control and he almost died from malnutrition. Austin has been on his side continuously for the past five, almost six years, so Alan doesn’t doubt that Austin loves him enough to be able to raise a child with him. No, that’s not it.

He knows that Austin doesn’t want kids. It had never been a secret. Even when Alan was a freshman in high school and Austin, being three years older than him, was a junior, it had been like this. And Alan understood why, honestly. Austin had been abused by his father – mentally by being called horrible things, physically by being beaten up every other day – until that asshole died, he’s never known his mum because she left him alone a month after he was born, and so he was being reached around from foster family to foster family until he was old enough to live on his own. He was traumatized and he didn’t want to end like his own father, and so he decided that he didn’t want a family of his own.

Alan understands him, and he had already been okay with the prospect of probably never having a child in his life because he had Austin and that was more than he could ask for and so he was fine with that. Maybe, so he had thought, he could get Austin warmed up to the idea and they would adopt in like, ten years or something when their financial status was better and they were older, out of their wild youth.

And now he’s pregnant.

Austin is so going to freak out. Alan doesn’t want to imagine how it’s going to be. The elder is going to be so angry, he’s going to shout and scream and maybe even run away for a while – it’s definitely going to trigger him badly and Alan is about a hundred percent sure he’s not going to be able to keep his anger in control. What if he’s going to leave Alan? Austin loves him, so he doubts that, but it’s not impossible. Austin is so terrified of the prospect of being a father. And while Alan believes that he’ll be a good dad, because his lover is the most gentle and caring person he’s ever met, Austin doesn’t see that, not yet and maybe not ever.

Alan honestly has no idea how he’s going to tell him. He doesn’t want to lose Austin, he doesn’t want to trigger him. It’s all been so good the past year, but now it’s all gone to hell because half the time, they’re too eager to use protection – and why should they? They were both clean and they hadn’t known that Alan could indeed get pregnant. This gene that had only been discovered mere ten years ago that gave men the chance to get pregnant was so rare, nobody ever thought the ginger could have it, too. It never crossed their minds, and so they just fucked like rabbits, whether it was with a condom on or not.

Alan doesn’t know what to do. When he’s home, he sinks on the couch, Phips on his right and Cookie on his lap, petting his loved cats absentmindedly while all the wheels in his brain are tossing and turning. Maybe, he thinks, maybe it’s wrong what the doctor had found out. But that can’t be, because he has the solutions of the test right there in the front pocket of his jeans along with his cellphone, the paper seemingly weighing more than stone where it rests. It’s impossible that they are wrong.

But he can’t tell Austin, that much is clear to him. He knows he has to, sooner or later, but he can’t do it right now. He doesn’t know how to. Alan wishes for his mum, wants nothing more than to call her so she could comfort him, tell him it would be okay. But he can’t because she’s gone, she’s dead. And while Alan loves his dad and gets along with him well enough, it wouldn’t be the same. He has nobody he could tell, nobody he could seek out for comfort. And so he just sits on the couch, his cats close to him because they sense his distress, and tries to sort out the chaos in his mind.

Alan is a hundred percent sure that he can’t tell Austin about the pregnancy. His boyfriend doesn’t want kids, he hates the idea of being a father because he is afraid of it and fathers had never been good to him. But Alan also knows how much Austin hates it when he’s being lied to. So Alan can’t just go and find some excuse as to why he is puking his guts out every morning and why he is becoming so moody lately and why some smells make him get sick as well. Austin would only get angrier when Alan finally told him what was going on.

He never once considers abortion an option though. While he understands while people do it and could never think that it’s wrong or something, he couldn’t do it for himself. He got himself in this misery, and now he’s going to have to work this out. Besides, he loves kids, and now that he’s about to have his own, he’s excited. It’s dimmed by the fear of Austin’s reaction, but the excitement is definitely there.

That’s how Austin finds the younger when he comes home that evening in late April. Alan sits on the couch, staring off into space, his hand buried in the fur of Phips who is curled in his lap, half asleep and purring softly. Alan doesn’t notice that the other man entered their loft until the couch cushion dips with Austin’s weight.

“Hey babe” Austin murmurs when he pulls Alan into his arms. It’s easy for Alan to settle into Austin’s side, cuddle up close to him and rest his head on his shoulder, almost reflex because it’s a usual position for them.

“Hi” Alan says back softly. He’s instantly soothed by Austin’s arms holding him tightly, protectively, by his familiar smell filling his lungs. He sighs deeply. He’s generally a bad liar, and he can’t possibly lie to Austin. This is going to be tough, really tough, but there was no other way.

“How are you feeling? What did the doctor say?” Austin asks, ever the worried boyfriend. Alan doesn’t know where he would be without him, really. He lifts his head and looks at Austin, presses a soft kiss to his slightly stubbly cheek before disentangling himself from the elder’s hold. He wouldn’t be able to say it with Austin that close. Important things are better said with a bit of distance so you could watch the person, look them in the eye and see their reaction.

“You won’t like it” Alan replies, and damn, that so aren’t the right words. He sees Austin tense, look at him with wide eyes, afraid of what that means.

“What do you mean?” Austin wants to know, and his words are hurried. Alan loves him even more when he’s afraid like that, as dumb as that sounds. He loves it when the love Austin feels for him becomes this obvious because sometimes Austin is still bad at showing his feelings. “Are you – are you sick, Alan?”

“No” Alan says, and it’s the truth. He has to fight back a sad little smile. “I’m perfectly healthy.”

“What is it, then? Oh god, please talk to me.” Austin is so worried, Alan feels the distress radiating off him. But he can’t look at him, not now, so instead he stares at his hands that he is kneading in his lap. He wishes Cookie hadn’t left him, but the cat had taken off when Austin had come.

He swallows, licks his lips. “Promise you won’t freak out” Austin nods, hums in agreement softly, and Alan has to lift his head now, has to look at him now even though it takes every ounce of strength in his body. He’s shaken to his bones, he’s terrified. What if Austin reacts badly?

“I’m pregnant, Austin.”

Alan has, in the past couple hours, imagined many scenarios how it could go down. Austin could scream at him, freak out totally and run from the flat totally furious, not coming back in days, probably going to his mate’s Tino’s flat. Or he could just silently get up and make Alan leave, telling him to never want to see him again. Or he could scream, pack his things and leave himself. There were so many possibilities that he had worked out, and that were horrible.

What he hadn’t thought of was what really happens.

Austin stares at him for long seconds of loaded silence. His eyes are wide and Alan can’t read his expression, for the first time in forever, actually. He wants to look away when Austin’s façade slowly cracks and shows how afraid he really is, shows the fear that fills the elder. It breaks Alan’s heart to know that he’s the reason why Austin feels like this, but he can’t look away, doesn’t find the strength to. And so he just stares without moving, with his heart in his throat and his stomach turning unpleasantly.

“You’re –“ Austin starts, but his voice catches in his throat and he has to clear it before trying again. “You’re having a baby.” Alan nods meekly, and there are more seconds of silence. “We’re having a baby” Austin finally corrects himself. His voice is barely louder than a whisper. Alan doesn’t know what to do, so he just nods.

“I’m so sorry” he finally mutters out, because he is. He doesn’t want to put Austin through this.

It’s then that life comes back into Austin, and he violently shakes his head. “No, don’t be sorry” And he reaches out for Alan, pulling him into his embrace, his eyes filled with tears. Alan climbs into his lap without hesitation and wraps his arms around Austin, running his fingers through his hair as he holds him tightly. Austin is shaking and Alan can’t really hold in the tears that have threatened to spill over all day.

“I know you don’t want kids” Alan whispers, pressing kisses to Austin’s cheek and neck and forehead. “I would understand if –“

“No no no, don’t say that” Austin is quick to interrupt him. He lifts his head from where it was buried in the crook of Alan’s neck and looks at him with a serious expression. “I’m scared. Yeah, honestly, I’m fucking terrified. But this is our baby. This is –“ He chokes up, and Alan wipes the tear away that has fallen from his eye. “I couldn’t leave you. I love you, Alan, I love you more than anything. And I’m terrified, but we will find a way.”

At that, Alan can’t help but smile. He full-on beams at the love of his life and cups Austin’s face in his hands lovingly before pressing their lips together. “I love you, too, Aus” he murmurs against his lips between two kisses. The happiness he feels, this is real. Austin didn’t freak out. No, instead he’s here with him, not freaking out, but being ready to face this. Alan has been right all along – they’re different people now, grown-ups who can handle difficult situations, not broken teenagers who run away when they get scared. He should’ve known better.

Austin’s hand that had gripped the back of Alan’s shirt before now comes up to Alan’s belly to cup it with his long, slender fingers gently. It’s kind of ironic how the letters on his knuckles say Love. Alan smiles down at it, and the tear that rolls down his cheek is one of pure joy. He’s pregnant, he’s going to have a kid with the man he loves more than his own life. When he lifts his head, Austin is already smiling at him, adoration in his beautiful dark eyes, and Alan can’t help but kiss him again.

“I’m sure you’re gonna be a good dad” Alan says.

Austin bites his lip – a nervous habit he’s always had. “I’m not as sure. But I’ll try. I don’t want to fuck this up.”

“And you won’t, darling” Alan cards his fingers through his hair, lets his fingers ghost over Austin’s cheek. The elder leans into his touch. “We’re going to be fine.”

Austin rests his forehead against Alan’s after pressing a kiss to it. “Yeah, yeah, we’re gonna be.”


End file.
